the uncertainty of it all

I recently had a phone conversation with my mom. It was going great and I was enjoying catching up until my summer plans and post graduation plans came up.

For most college seniors, questions about life after college are not enjoyable ones. "What are you doing next year?" is the new "Where are you applying for schools?" question we got as seniors in high school. Except the problem is this: As high school seniors, there wasn't a doubt what the next step was. We all had a plan to go to college, study, have fun, make new friends, enjoy new experiences, and eventually graduate and get a job.

Well, now that time has come, and the future isn't quite so clear as it was 4 years ago. I can't apply to jobs like I applied to colleges, knowing that someone somewhere will have to accept me. And the truth is, I am not opposed to growing up, as much as I may act like it. I think I will actually really enjoy the "real world". However, I have always known exactly what was next for me, and knowing that I have absolutely no clue where I'll be or what I'll be doing in a year - or even 6 months - is a little stressful and frightening.

I'd like to think that I have some sort of plan... Mom, are you reading this? I'll lifeguard in Hilton Head one last time so that I can make enough money to purchase a car and even support myself for awhile. While in Hilton Head, I'll look for jobs in the city I want to be - Atlanta, and hopefully (fingers crossed) something will come up. The question is, where do I even start?

This afternoon I'm meeting with one of my advertising professors in hopes of receiving some guidance, and hopefully after meeting with him, some of my fears of leaving IU will be eased. We're all going to do great things and live great lives after graduating, but it's the getting there that makes us never want to grow up and leave.